Some days we find ourselves exactly where we don’t want to be … again. Why is that so? How does that happen, over and over — are we simply not committed to our own happiness? Are we lazy? Are we just completely broken?
No. As it turns out, we don’t really have a commitment problem per se, it’s just that sometimes we’re committed to the wrong things (subconsciously at least). In fact, when things are really going badly, it’s important to realise that we’re not un-committed to our success, we’re just MORE committed to our failure… because, if you look closely and review life with an open-mind, you’ll probably find (like I did) that it serves us somehow. But rather than launch into an exploration of why failure “serves” us, I think it’s more important to consider how to end this vicious cycle of self-sabotage.
So here are seven action-steps to help put an end to self-sabotage. I admit that they’re pretty simplistic, but to cover everything in detail would fill a whole book, so these are just great starting points that will help move you towards “self-sabotaging” your failure and finally getting what you want out of life…
1. Be honest with yourself
It’s not easy to admit we are responsible for what we can’t achieve. Open yourself to the possibility that you are sabotaging your efforts. Self-sabotage can affect all of us. The key to overcoming them is our ability to be candid with ourselves.
2. Build your self-confidence
A large part of self-sabotage is related to how you feel about yourself. Our ability to be confident is the catalyst for anything we want to accomplish. Create unique strategies to build and reinforce your confidence; It’s an important step to ending self-sabotage.
3. Criticize less, love more
There are two type of people in the world, those who blame others for their problem and those who blame themselves. Which one are you? Until we learn to stop self-criticisms and to love ourselves, we will never stop standing in our way.
4. Take small steps towards your goals
One way you can diminish your fears and end self-sabotage is to take small steps towards achieving your goals. The benefit of incremental steps includes: Objectivity, focus and clarity. It will also reduce the likelihood of self-sabotage.
5. Remove Obstacles
The ones listed above and any that interferes with achieving your goals. Other obstacles to consider includes: Expecting easy, being resistive to change. Take proactive steps to pinpoint obstacles standing in your way.
6. Be Fearless
Fear is one of the main reason we self-sabotage. The moments you feel fear is an excellent time to find perspective. Remember the reasons you are pursuing your goals. Fear itself will always be a part of us; learn to face it and deal with it. Make every possible effort to believe in your abilities, remember no one is perfect. Be fearless in spite of your fears.
7. Do The Deeper Work
Don’t let self-sabotage rob you of the opportunity to succeed at your intentions. Consider the instances in your life where you might be sabotaging your efforts…
1) Uncover ALL your hidden, unhealthy thought-processes and beliefs that are out of alignment with your goals and
2) Repeatedly replace them with thought-processes and beliefs that support your desires and compel you toward the successful accomplishment of your goals.
This is the deeper work. It’s challenging and worth getting some professional help (from a well-seasoned counsellor, for example) to speed up what can otherwise be a long process, but this will change your life… just like it changed mine.