Lately I’ve been learning more and more about the power (and discomfort) of holding space…. oh, and gardening.
It’s funny in this world of massive action, outward signs of “success”, idolised gurus and endless to-do lists, that the place of real power is in the unknowingness, in the in-between, in the space within.
But of course, that ‘space’ isn’t empty like we imagine. It’s the incredible vibrant flux of potentiality that forms and maintains worlds and manifests trillions of new micro miracles every second of every day. It’s a pulsing aliveness, awaiting intention and consistent clarity to call it into form. It is infinitely complex, yet devastatingly simple at the same time.
I’m struggling with words right now…
…because how do you clearly convey the formless flux that implies all possibilities at any given moment? As soon as I put some sort of feeble construct around it, I am vastly limiting its truth and undermining it’s potential in my experience with my own mind.
So perhaps the only answer is to feel your way into it… not that you are ever “out” of it of course! But I mean to feel your way into the openness of possibility — to hold space for the things you yearn for, just like a gardener holds space for seeds to turn to crops and for crops to yield abundant provision… all the while gently watering and removing weeds as needed.
I love the analogy of the gardener.
The “work” of planting and tending is pretty simple (not always easy, but simple at least), whereas the miracle of death, deconstruction, rebirth, expansion, flowering and fruiting is incredibly complex. And all this time, the gardener has such great trust in the mechanisms of nature, that all unfolds beautifully, as it was intended to do.
Where I’ve had it wrong in the past is that I was stuck more in the doing, not the being. I lacked trust and somehow believed that the outcomes and experiences were more about what I did, than what was going on under the surface.
Now I am understanding that fertile soil is the key.
You see as we clear away the toxicity and the coagulated thought patterns, memories and calcified emotions, then growth can occur with ease.
Here’s a really great explainer video by Christie Marie Sheldon that talks about how you can “prepare your soil” (although she doesn’t use these words at all of course)…
For me, focussing more on inwardly clearing the “soil” (and being able to hold space in a far richer vibratory “garden”) rather than predominantly focussing on the outward actions, has transformed my mental/emotional (and even financial) health, and also my overall experience of life.
Now, the process of growth is far more effortless.
I spend more time initially on clearing the weeds that would have choked growth (through meditating, mantras, energetic clearing, avoiding toxic inputs, etc) and this results in many little miracles in my day-to-day life. Once I plant a new seed, I water with a highly potent mix of gratitude and love, and find that these seeds bloom and fruit so much faster than ever before.
Holding space can still have its discomfort at times and still requires patience, but wow, what a difference!