Finding Balance with Grief
So, as it turns out, I’ve inadvertently been a bit of an asshole lately….
A friend of mine is going through a hard time and I thought I was being helpful by spouting off all my “how-to” type ideas around Bliss. But it came across as TOTALLY lacking in compassion because I didn’t acknowledge the real depth of grief that people can experience sometimes.
You see, for me personally, if I gave in to the idea that bliss is an illusion and experiencing misery is some sort of un-transmutable human condition, then I’d simply give up on bliss altogether and probably drink myself to death, leave my kids fatherless and perpetuate the cycle of misery.
So I choose to align with (and put my entire focus on) a belief that gives me hope and keeps me moving forward (that at our core we are pure bliss/love/peace focussed on expansion and gnosis)… Now, towards myself I don’t really exercise compassion so much—I can’t allow myself to wallow in my own misery, other than to be completely present with it long enough acknowledge, thank, clear and transmute it (rather than resisting it and locking it into my system somehow)—so I guess that’s why I might inadvertently come across as heartless at times.
Of course, like most of us, I’ve experienced plenty of grief too.
Grief in my childhood, grief when my parents separated, grief when I had to leave my home and country and start life over at 15, grief at my own mistakes in my late teens and early twenties and, more recently, a few years back my wife and I separated, and that caused deep grief as well.
But it’s hard to keep putting all my enthusiasm for Bliss in the compassionate context of our tainted human experience every time I open my mouth to speak or every time I write something…. because I have trained myself to focus on what I want, not on what I don’t want.
Needless to say, I’m very grateful to have been “called on it” and now I have to work on finding balance otherwise I’ll never be able to help people in real need (which is ALL I really intend with my work in the arena of Bliss).
Grief is a normal, natural experience which is only ever problematic when we resist it (or ignore it) and lock it into our systems somehow. The ego will indeed try to make it part of our story but, by turning and facing our grief, acknowledging it fully, being present and non-judgemental, we can begin the healing process and—in time—return home … to Bliss.